Session Thirty-Four: It's a New Year!

In the wild world of parenting a child with a tracheostomy, the word "new" can be a bit intimidating. For most people who find themselves on this path, everything about trach life is new. Your whole world changes. You're no longer a mom; you're a special needs mom, and I can assure you that you don't feel special. More often than not, you feel alone. You feel like no one understands the drastic change you're experiencing in this new life. 

If you have children, maybe you've seen the animated movie The Croods. The dad's motto: New is Always Bad! That line is very true when you live your life in fear. And when we started this new life, we were paralyzed by fear. The weight of responsibility in caring for a medically fragile child can feel too heavy. You can stop looking at each new day with hope and start to look at each new day with dread. "What will go wrong today?" When I watched the movie The Croods, I could relate to living life in a cave out of fear.

We were afraid to take our trachie out into the world because she could contract a deadly respiratory virus. We were afraid to take our trachie out into the world because it was difficult to pack up a feeding pump, a ventilator, an extra battery for the ventilator, the nebulizer in case she needed a breathing treatment, the suction machine, the "go-bag" with all the extra supplies like spare trachs, an ambulatory bag. All on top of the fact that she hated being in her car seat and Mommy, Daddy, or a nurse had to sit beside her, always ready to suction down her trach, and watch for signs of distress. Yes.....staying inside the cave seemed easier.

For those who can relate... I see you. You're not alone. I encourage you to let the light into that dark cave, let hope spring forth. How? For me, it was waving the white flag of surrender. I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't strong enough on my own. I laid my fears down at the foot of Jesus' Cross. I literally laid my daughter on the floor of the altar at church and cried. I asked God for the grace needed to be our trachie's mom. And I told God how much I needed Him and that I wanted to trust Him.

It's a New Year, a new opportunity to allow hope to win over fear. Go ahead, try something new. Try totally surrendering to God and allow Him to lead you to a new level of faith.  Ask God to be with you this year, to reveal Himself to you in a New way, and make yourself available to Him. Seek Him! Trust Him!

The ending line of the movie The Croods: "Our world is still plenty harsh and hostile, but now we know the Croods will make it, because we changed the rules... the ones that kept us in the dark, and because of my dad, who taught us that anyone can change... well, sort of. So from now on, we'll stay out here, where we can follow the light."

Our trach life can still be pretty harsh and hostile, but we don't let fear keep us from living life. God is our light and we follow Him. Happy New Year, my friends.

I had to include a throwback picture of our daughter as a "caveman". She was Pebbles for Halloween, back when she was 2.