Session Nineteen: Time for School

Session 19: It’s Time for School

Our daughter began itinerant (one-on-one) preschool in our home at age three. The following school year, we continued with itinerant preschool but moved her lessons to the school. Then the following year, we opted to put our daughter into the classroom with her peers for her final year of preschool. This mommy was a nervous wreck. Our daughter was basically non-verbal, using sign language to communicate. She had a trach, was ventilator-dependent, and would have a nurse accompanying her in the classroom. How was she going to make friends? Would the kids avoid her? How was she even going to participate in class? Would being around all the kids’ germs be dangerous for her fragile respiratory system? There were so many questions racing through my mind. It was so tempting to keep her home and continue with itinerant services, but my heart knew she needed this sense of normalcy. It wasn’t fair to allow my fears to keep her from experiencing life.

Just prior to the start of the school year, we traveled to the audiology clinic for a consultation on our daughter’s hearing loss, something we had been putting off for too long. She ended up being fitted for a Cochlear device, a BAHA 5, which she would wear on a removable softband headband. To be honest, we weren’t thrilled about it, but we quickly changed our opinion when we saw how our daughter became more interactive and all a sudden her minimal vocalization became a growing vocabulary of words she was using to communicate. Before we knew it, she was speaking in sentences.  

I still remember the first time our daughter used her words to tell me a story about something that had happened at school. It was a tremendous moment, an achievement which we weren’t sure would ever happen. And all the fears I had about our daughter not fitting in with her classmates were unwarranted, they were all amazing with her and included her in their play. Her teachers were everything we could have asked for and her private-duty nurses continued to be a blessing in our lives.

The school year was a tremendous success. She loved learning, she loved riding the school bus, she loved making friends and loved being a part of the classroom. Mommy warmed up to her being at school a few hours each day as well…eventually. I have to admit the first two weeks were extremely hard. I wasn't ready to let go! I wasn’t a part of her school life, which was no different than our other children, but still a hard thing for me to accept. For five years I had poured every ounce of myself into caring for our daughter. Being a special needs parent is consuming and it’s easy to lose yourself. The separation was good for both of us! Yet, it was a mixture of joy and sadness, coupled with a dose of that dreadful emotion of fear which is always trying to poison my mind.

When the fear would rise up, I would remind myself that it was time for her joy to light up the halls of her school. Though I wasn’t able to see her beaming smile at school, I couldn’t deny the joy radiating from her face as she waited for the school bus each afternoon. This Travels with Our Trachie took our daughter on a new adventure, one that was hers, instead of ours.

Yes, our daughter absolutely loves school and her experience in the classroom with preschool truly prepared her for attending school full-time the following year for kindergarten. What a wonderful start to this new season of life!